Philadelphia.....

I am back after a long "hiatus" from the blogging scene. Actually, visiting several of my friends' blogsites for the past couple of hours, I thought, hey...what's holding me back? Well, professional life is cruising along; I really like being at my present job...friendly colleagues, good work place conditions, challenging boss (well, sometimes, a bit nosy..like yesterday he came and peeped into my computer screen!) and what not. So, what have I been doing? Watched two movies..."Anywhere but Here". I started watching this movie and realized that I had seen it before. An emotional mother-daughter relationship thingy it was. The other one was "Philadelphia". I couldn't watch it at a single seating. Everytime I looked at Tom Hanks, I remembered a close friend with "alternative" sexual orientation. Wouldn't want this to happen to him ever. Tom Hanks was incredible...he is one of those guys who, inspite of being a no-looker, bewitches you! Talk about charisma...I wonder what he is like in real life. Same goes for Denzel Washington. To complete my list of reel hunkies, there is Nicholas Cage and ummmm...let's see, I think that's it. Oh wait...there's John Cusack, too!
I wonder why homosexuals are at a higher risk of contracting AIDS? Is it because they are more prolific and tend to have anonymous and multiple partners? Will making them a part of society (hey, own up...most people still pretend that they are"queer") help? Will granting them the right to marry and integrate into society take care of this rampant and unsafe sexual practices? I don't know...don't mistake my questions! I think they are just like us, I mean, they are like anyone else and I wouldn't really discriminate them anywhere (either in my personal or professional workplace). But, watching the movie really opened my eyes to the deeply ingrained beliefs/constructs that we carry throughout our lives without pausing to stop and think. Is "Live and let Live" passe? Anyone with a thought?

How to Live on 7$/hour paycheck

I am sitting, after my usual evening "Will & Grace" show (which happens to be the only sitcom that I can sit through) and pitter-pottering around the apartment, and wondering what else to do. The evenings are cooler now (thanks to Ophelia?) and since I have the mandatory late night phone call to make, I have a lot of time to kill. Well, that makes me think why is that phone call "mandatory"? Umm...that's another issue
I am reading a book called "Nickel and Dimed" . The author, a substantially educated (Ph.D.) middle-aged Caucasian woman has undertaken a mission to probe welfare reform...to see for herself how America survives on poverty-level wages. She takes on the life of a typical American, trying to make ends meet literally, working as a housemaid, a WalMart "associate", a waitress, nursing home aide, or hotel maid across Florida through Minnesota, living out of cheap decrepit lodgings. It's a very interesting read; so is her insight and her laudable courage in leaving her comfortable cocooned life for this eye-opening experience.
However she might, she'll never be able to relive the exprience of the people she's trying to empathize with. She knows that whatever happens, at the end of this true-to-life journalistic foray, she'll be back to her usual life dotted with a habitable home with an understanding and supporting family, a stockpiled fridge, warm food on the table and most of all health insurance. She has the backup support that she can leave behind this persona and home into her comfort zone... however, for the millions of Americans who are in this predicament of a lack of life support system (emotional, health as well as financial), where can they escape to?
Anyway, reading her book has been an eye-opener, though at times she has been stoic at the best in the face of the circumstances she faced (which is good because I am sick of tear-jerkers that end with "happily ever after" tag lines). I recommend this book to all who want to know more about what is happening beneath the glitzy outer sheen of the society.

Closer/Farther

Well, here I am again ... writing blogs. I thought I will be loyal to this one profession I have discovered, namely, blogging for some time now!
Speaking of loyalty, I wanted to put my thoughts down about a film I watched recently..it's called "Closer". I am sure many people have watched it by now, what with all the plethora of the accomplished cast of the movie. But all that the movie left me was a feeling of bitterness, a feeling of immature selfishness and that of temptation on the loose. Is it really impossible to love without being selfish? By "being in love", I'm encompassing a wide range of emotions, including close friendships (and not necessarily "romantic love"). I have heard many cynics saying that when people are in a relationship (or "in love"), they are actually satisfying their own egos; "being in love" is another expression of their love for their ownself, their attempt at up-holding their own self esteem through the emotions of the one they "love". Well, I am digressing (as usual :))...the cynicism of the director is all too evident throughout the movie. "Dan", the man who wanted to love was the loser..he lost the one who loved him and also the one whom he loved...the classic loser so to say. But, somehow I couldn't sympathize with him, even though I could see him trying to get back the broken pieces together. Am I too turning cynical? Maybe.. But, I realized that I still naively believe in retribution (remembering Alice/Jane's tearful pleas and innocent love making). What a contrast it was...a naive and innocent Alice/Jane against the sophisticated and independent Anna. By the end of the movie, I felt how easy it is to deceive and manipulate; however, to me, deception is akin to bartering away a piece of your soul (strong words, huh!?).
Well, it wasn't a very positive movie on love and relationship; I, however, think that many people might think this is the future of all relationships to come. Maybe, I am a terribly old-fashioned monogamist; maybe, I still believe that trust and faith are the two infallible pillars to any relationship. And maybe, I am a sucker for losers!

Passing by

So much for being "addicted" to blogging! Well, at least this time around, I remembered ny login and password :)...
Well, I was going through a friend's blog and likewise ruminating on the fact of being a single Asian female in a not-so-culturally-sensitive American city. Thinking that "nothing much" actually sums up my daily doings. I sometimes think what can constitute "SOMETHING". Work, talking to friends, reading for recreation, reading for education, relating to people, volunteering for charities??? What will give me the sense of achievement...sometimes, I wonder whether I have set a bar too high for me to get at and is that why I tend to be inherently unsatisfied. And to think that I think myself to be quite optimistic (compared to my "friends" in general).

Where Are We?

So, I am here again. I think I am positively addicted...to blogging :). I have always loved talking, to myself as well as to others...I have even wondered aloud to myself frequently whether that's an aberration or not. Talking always excited me from my teeny weeny nappy days. Of course, I cannot vouch for reciprocated feelings from my not-so-patient listeners, though. I have even been pulled away from a classroom and "punished" for "talking too much" (whatever that means!).
Well, to get back to the topic. What did I do on a warm and balmy Sunday evening all by myself? Discounting such trivia as chewing the nth Wrigleys and the rare fingernail to stave off another trip to the refrigerator and admiring my new hair style in the mirror (in the absence of an admirer, that is), I did some reading...something I had been putting off since a long time. Well, I am reading up on legalisation of prostitution..a touchy subject, no doubt. The first question is, being a woman, what do I think of prostitution? There are so many rhetorical questions nagging at me like those summer evening gnats...where do I start? Do I analyse prostitution from the point of view of morality, from the point of view of individual freedom, from an economic viewpoint, health, or violence against women or what? Having led a sheltered and often uneventful life till now, it is so difficult for me to grapple the reality...why would any woman give up herself so totally knowing the odds against it. Why would any woman want to strip herself of self respect and dignity? Well, we know the reasons..."couldn't help it because there was nothing to eat", or close relatives acting as pimps or sometimes because of the glitzy world of the sophisticated escort services. Whatever it is...now, it's time that we look at it from the other side of the "cage". Why do men (the so-called "johns") go for it? Do they ever stop and think for a moment what it'd be like if there had a sister/mother/cousin in the same position? I wonder......Do they do it because it's a power game and it makes them feel big because they realize that they are after all the tiniest and insignificantest bleep on the radar of humanity without that momentary act of assertion?
Well, let's not get emotional about it. After all, all the articles I read today were very dry, matter-of-fact and full of stats. But where does that lead us? Does it lead the men of today (educated and very emancipated) to stand up and say that prostitution should be banned? No, on the other hand they think that it should be legalised. And why, pray? Because they think that by legalising it, it'd ensure that the women are not taken advantage of and they are not the subjects of battery. I say, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T! Did you know that in places of legalised prostitution, the powers-be test the women prostitutes regularly for the presence of STDs, etc but not the male customers. It's just like ensuring that you get the best of products, nicely and hermetically sealed to perfection for your use, sir!!! Talk of a consumerist society! Do men forget that even if you pay money, soliciting for prostitution is an act of violence, an aggravated assault on the physique and the soul of a woman (and I am not even talking of the sado-masochistic parlors) ? It's like how do you like your meat, sir, rare...boned...or....
To me, this is an issue that men should equally be aware of. I know all the "natural instinct" reasons and blah blahs for justifying the prostitution trade. But, how far have we come from being cavemen and cavewomen; how far have we come on our path to being fulfilled together; how far have we come to realize the facade of meaningless excuses we put forward to hide our iniquities?

Rambling

well, the blog bug got to me finally. Saw some interesting and not-so-interesting blogs set up by friends and thought why not me. This is a very good alternative way of talking to oneself and others (you know what I mean!).
Well, the one bug that's under my skin right now is staying alone in an US city. Is it worth it? I sometimes think what are the prices for individual freedom...is it different between a man and a woman? Does every woman feel vulnerable at her workplace and her personal environs? Is this the way evolution has shaped everything? This amazes me because nature (or the forces of evolution) has been so near perfect with everything else...so why do we still not have gender equality. Oh well, gender benders all around :)
This does not mean that my life is bleak and dreary with hours spent of lone musings. Life has been pretty good till now; of course, I have had my share (and more; I love cribbing :)) of misfortunes, malaise and what may you. But, I feel that life has a meaning and living it everyday is the answer to it. I don't mean that you should just live (sort of like veggie) but live with a purpose. So, what's mine (I can see the arced smile)?